Recently out of a 10-year relationship, I became actually naive about
hookup society
and sex generally. Appearing back, We see
a lot of red flags
in the man I dated for 5 months after my separation and divorce. Here you will find the signs we skipped that I was dating a closet gender addict.

1. 
   He wished to make love all the time.
   
   We had been having sex at the very least four times on a daily basis. Initially I didn’t recognize it had been weird; I would already been married for a reasonable time before I dated him therefore I don’t know what ended up being a “normal” quantity of gender. As I ended up being married, typical used to be four weeks, and whenever I began matchmaking he, I just thought he had been really, truly drawn to myself. After all, I
   
   am
   
   very awesome.
2. 
   He was painfully bashful.
   
   I’m sure this doesn’t appear to be it matches, but he met all their girlfriends on the internet, and so I assumed he would never had a one-night stand. I could never ever picture him picking right up a woman in a bar. Looks like, he met everyone else on Craigslist, Tinder, or other hookup programs. I am just maybe not claiming all bashful guys are closet sex addicts, but I
   
   am
   
   saying that becoming shy does not rule it.
3. 
   The guy loved women in all size and shapes.
   
   In an excellent world, all men would not value any female’s problems. The truth is, we’ve all outdated men that has their preferences and dislikes. He previously nothing. At first I thought it had been empowering; he appeared to
   accept myself for my situation
   . However highlight ladies the guy found attractive, and additionally they varied from rail-thin to obese, gothic to black locks, pale epidermis to dark colored skin. We never ever once felt poor about any part of my body in which he never ever helped me feel unattractive, but afterwards, I’d to wonder: that is truly interested in
   
   every person
   
   ?
4. 
   He had some unusual sexual encounters in his past.
   
   Whom am I to judge if the guy did some things that i mightnot have? Don’t we all have a past? Initially I was excited to have located somebody so available. I intentionally don’t respond when he explained concerning the time he found some meeting gay guys on craigslist become in the receiving end of a glory opening. (it was not homosexual, the guy revealed, since the guy couldn’t see the guy. The guy viewed right pornography whilst man performed dental on him from behind an item of cardboard.) Subsequently there seemed to be the full time he took part in a threesome, and the time a woman stumbled on his work so he could fist their. I have to confess I loved paying attention to his stories, but I happened to be beginning to fret that circumstances he previously done in his last might be circumstances however want once more within his future.
5. 
   He watched porno… much.
   
   From the all of our basic conversation about porno. He had been extremely surprised to learn that I didn’t have a problem with it. Exactly how can I influence which he wasn’t allowed to view porn? That would mean
   
   I
   
   was not permitted to enjoy it, and
   We loved porn
   . Unless it prevented him from planning to be romantic beside me, i did not see difficulty. It never ever turned into problems; the guy usually still wished intercourse. It wasn’t until directly after we separated which he admitted it was interfering with him obtaining his work completed the whole day.
6. 
   He had his or her own business.
   
   If you continuously want to see pornography, wank, swipe on Tinder, or arrange craigslist hookups, just what better position for than to being your very own employer? The guy could leave many times through the day without anybody knowing—including me personally.
7. 
   He’d never ever tell me their “number.”
   
   I did not ask outright but we joked about any of it. He said he’d never ever let me know his number. We added up his previous girlfriends and guessed that number. He chuckled and said, “Probably much more.” We thought he would outdated a lot more ladies than I’d heard about. I never ever guessed he previously connected with so many haphazard folks.
8. 
   He was actually, really good at sex.
   
   I imagined it was because we were therefore in tune emotionally. He taken notice of my cues during sex like not one guy ever had. Since it looks like, he would simply had a lot of rehearse. And even though i possibly couldn’t stick to him once I discovered he was cheating (with many other individuals!), I’ll bear in mind him since the best intercourse we ever endured.